This Floating Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV offerings of the recent year, a handful of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season began, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.